When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

Listen, if you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

If you don't root for the Dodgers, you might not get into heaven.

My son wasn't gay. No way.

Grownups have to say 'please,' too.

Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard and you kill it; not hard enough and it flies away.

The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.