Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I see the ups and downs. I see the mistakes I've made. I see a funny person. I see a serious person. I see a diamond. I see the good times. I see the bad times. And I see knowledge of self. I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

I don't like doing stand-up for little kids. It's not geared for that.

People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right.

Too many people focus on the thing, instead of the heavenly glory of it. I don't want to give away what to expect.

I love "30 Rock" because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week.

I think the word 'pregnant' is funny.