Make your judgments and then you don't have to worry about it. You're always going to have those people who are offended about every little thing.

Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee.

When I do stand-up... I get to do whatever I want to do. There's no boundaries. You'll get to know me. You'll leave with a piece of me.

I never wanted the ha-ha-ha laughter [at my shows]. I always aimed for the gut. I always aimed for the pretty girls in the front row, laughing and leaning over and pooting.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life.

Bones heal, but the loss of my friend will never heal.