If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.

I'm not really struggling about my career. The struggles are in my personal life. I can't really pinpoint how long it took me to get where I'm at, and I didn't care how long it was going to take, because it's not about the destination, it's about the journey.

When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it.

It's very important to be in your child's life and know what's going on and be there with them.

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.

They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining.