The truth is if I had a gay son, I would love him just as much as if he was straight… I might have to try to love even more because I know of the difficulty that he would have in society.

I don't like doing stand-up for little kids. It's not geared for that.

Life smacks Tracy Morgan in the face, and I don't mean to talk in third party, but no, it doesn't stop raining when I come outside, no, absolutely not. I'm very in touch.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I give [Barack Obama] a 10 [on a scale of 1 to 10] because he's not God, and he inherited a couple of wars, and a financial mess.I want to see him curse somebody out on TV. You can't finesse a bull. He's gotta throw down. He's in the shark tank.

Let's focus on the funny. ... That's what I'm focused on... This is the gift God gave me. That's what I want to touch in people.

Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.