Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

I'm a big, big movie fan. I watch 'The Ten Commandments' and the original 'Planet of the Apes' every night.

I don't take any relationships for granted and I won't ever again. I just enjoy life.

I would love to try action films.

I love "30 Rock" because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week.

Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life.

I don't really take the college tours and all that. Those are young people and I'm quite sure they're mature enough to understand, but they haven't seen or lived real life yet.