Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

Stand-up is mine. It's a part of me.

Everything I talk about in stand-up is my experiences as an American, as a father, as a husband, as a black man, as a human being.

Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That’s why they call it the Fists of Fury. Michael Jackson danced with fury. I do stand up out of fury. I’m not mad at anybody. I’m not mad at any human being because I’m a human being.

I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.

I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy.

I love "30 Rock" because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week.