I never wanted the ha-ha-ha laughter [at my shows]. I always aimed for the gut. I always aimed for the pretty girls in the front row, laughing and leaning over and pooting.

I can't watch American Idol... it's like karaoke without the booze.

Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life.

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.

My father was the role model I looked up. My dad was an entertainer, too. I patterned my life after him. He wanted me to do better than he did. He never sold a record in his life, but to me he was still a rock star.

If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.