Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

Music has never been at a better time then it is right now, we're really lucky to be a part of this wonderful thing called music.

I'm not exactly sure how many kids I have, but yes, I do miss them officially, for the record. In case any of them are listening, I love you.

I've matured, maybe, but not grown up.

I can't stop bleeding and I can't stop having sex with corpses.

Punk rock has become another viable art form. It always was. But now it's like everyone's doing it.

I told my dad 'Yeah, I’m going to be a drummer', and he said 'Well, if you can rub your stomach at the same time as you pat your head at the same time you’re standing on one leg and kicking the other one out in a circle and say the pledge of allegiance'. And I did all that just like bam, you know?