When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh.

I find Mormons adorable.

We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.

The truth is, marijuana probably isn't going to make you kill people. Most likely isn't going to fund terrorists, but pot makes you feel fine with being bored and it's when you're bored that you should be learning a new skill or some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you're not good at anything.

I find Mormons adorable. I love Disneyland and old musicals, and, to me, Mormonism fits right in with all of that.

Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.

The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act.