When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh.

I love life... Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness.

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.

I like to fancy myself more of a musician than anything else.

Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.

Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?

I find Mormons adorable. I love Disneyland and old musicals, and, to me, Mormonism fits right in with all of that.