You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody

The problem is we moved to LA... The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican.

I just realized that there are going to be a lot of painful times in life, so I better learn to deal with them in the right way.

Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.

All the religions are super funny to me.

We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.'

Basically ... out of all the ridiculous religion stories which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous—the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah ... there's this big giant universe and it's expanding, it's all gonna collapse on itself and we're all just here just 'cause ... just 'cause'. That, to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever.