Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper.

Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas.

We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.'

There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists.

My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?'

Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.

I just realized that there are going to be a lot of painful times in life, so I better learn to deal with them in the right way.