I just realized that there are going to be a lot of painful times in life, so I better learn to deal with them in the right way.

It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great.

Once you have kids, you think like a parent. You get a lot more protective.

We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.'

Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be.

It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom.

Something is cool until everyone thinks it's cool.