Basically ... out of all the ridiculous religion stories which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous—the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah ... there's this big giant universe and it's expanding, it's all gonna collapse on itself and we're all just here just 'cause ... just 'cause'. That, to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever.

Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.

Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?

I find Mormons adorable.

You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody

What we're always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there's no shortage of material.

There's a lot of people who, a cigarette is about the only vacation they have.