Law enforcement officials have been candid in identifying ways officers could have handled the situation in Ferguson better, and I trust those recommendations will be helpful as we continue to count on them to protect us.

Women should not be enlightened or educated in any way. They should, in fact, be segregated as they are the cause of hideous and involuntary erections in holy men.

A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail.

Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys.

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.

A strong friendship doesn't need daily conversation or being together. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends never part.

When it came right down to it, the reindeer would eat you.