'Tis sweet to kiss a girl on Spring's first day, but only half so sweet as 'tis to kiss a girl on her bootyhole.
If you can't win your race, make sure the guy ahead of you breaks the record.
If you pay peanuts, you wind up hiring monkeys.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends Will steal it and yell: RUN LOSER RUN!