If you pay peanuts, you wind up hiring monkeys.

Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.

'Tis sweet to kiss a girl on Spring's first day, but only half so sweet as 'tis to kiss a girl on her bootyhole.

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to

Women should not be enlightened or educated in any way. They should, in fact, be segregated as they are the cause of hideous and involuntary erections in holy men.

Love is repaid by love alone!

Well, pull up an ice block and lend an ear. Now you know how Santa uses these flying reindeer to pull his sleigh.