To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks.

I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.

We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?

It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are.

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.

I could play a cop, I could play a crook, I could play a lawyer, I could play a dentist, I could play an art critic-I could play the guy next door. I am the guy next door. I could play Catholic, Jewish, Protestant. As a matter of fact, when I did The Odd Couple, I would do it a different way each night. On Monday I'd be Jewish, Tuesday Italian, Wednesday Irish-German-and I would mix them up. I did that to amuse myself, and it always worked.