I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat; he looked very calm, you'd give him money, and he'd give you something that you wanted to buy.

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

You see, my father was a Catholic priest, Greek Orthodox, but I think he started out as a Jew, then he became a Catholic priest.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.