A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.

I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.

The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.

Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having it.

He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.