Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.
Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well.
The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!
It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.
The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother - and the public.
The way to become famous fast is to throw a brick at someone who is famous.