I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.
The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!
The way to become famous fast is to throw a brick at someone who is famous.
An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.
I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.
Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.