The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!
An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.
Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well.
Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.
Hell hath no fury like a woman cheated out of a million dollars.
A certain columnist has been banned from all Shubert openings. Now he can wait three days and go to their closings.