The only ones who like Milton Berle are his mother - and the public.

It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.

Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having it.

The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!

Money sometimes makes fools of important persons, but it may also make important persons of fools.

Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.

I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.