Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.

I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.

She's been on more laps than a napkin.

A certain columnist has been banned from all Shubert openings. Now he can wait three days and go to their closings.

Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.