When my parents send me emails the first 3 are blank.

If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I had top-secret clearance and everything. I was working on a couple of projects that would keep me involved in Desert Storm. I was in the mix, which is scary.

I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic.

I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys.

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.

When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.