I'm really funny now.

Lot Of Strip Clubs in Florida... Good grief... Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to a brass pole.

Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.

It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds.

I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.