By four o'clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead.

What? I bring joy to the world. I am filled with mirth and sunlight. Also, I am Batman.

There was a time when I liked a good riot. Put on some heavy old street clothes that could stand a bit of sidewalk-scraping, infect myself with something good and contagious, then go out and stamp on some cops. It was great, being nine years old.

Journalism is just a gun. It’s only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that’s all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.

Tradition - one of those words conservative people use as a shortcut to thinking.

Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I’m pretty sure.

Don't live with writers. Writers are bastards.