You did it! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody! It's great to be here.

I don't really think in absolutes.

I've never had a yard sale, ever, in my life. I don't know if I ever thought about stuff I would get rid of.

I think people don't understand that comedy is an outlet for me. Comedy allows me to get outside of myself, and exercise this thing that is still kind of scary to me.

I'm always in these situations where I forget to separate what is pitched as an idea to the fact that I'm actually going to have to execute it.

I'm a panicked karaoke participant because I am always searching for a song in the moment. I don't have my go to song. I will be driving along and I will be like, "That should be my karaoke song!" and then I forget what song it is.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.