Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

Failure has gone to his head.

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.