90 per cent of success is turning up.

Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.

We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.

One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.

I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.