I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat.

he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something

My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.

I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.

My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.

I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.

Paranoia is knowing all the facts.