Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.

Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.

You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.

I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian.