I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.