Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.

Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.

There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot

I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.

I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.