Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.

When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.

You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.

The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.

In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.