As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.

Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!

Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.

I'm awash in self-contempt!