I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.

I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.

[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.

The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.

I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.