If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.

What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?

Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.

If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?

I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.