Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.

Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.

Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.

I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.