In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.

The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.

There are drawbacks in being famous too, but you can live with those. They're not life-threatening. If the paparazzi are outside your restaurant or your house - and actors make such a big thing of it and scurry into cars and drape things - you think they're going to be crucified or something. It's not a big deal. You can get used to that. It's not so terrible.

Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.

Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.