Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign

I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.

My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.

I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.

We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.

Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.