In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.

I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.

[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!

Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.