Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.

The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot

Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.

If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.

Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.

No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.