Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.

I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.

The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.