Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?

To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.

In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.