My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?

I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.

What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It proceeds from your unconscious. So it's the same surprise to you when it emerges as it is to the audience when the comic says it. I don't think of the joke and then say it. I say it and then realize what I've said. And I laugh at it, because I'm hearing it for the first time myself.

I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.

The only love that lasts is unrequited love.

Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.

There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.