Some people think about sex all the time; some people think of sex some of the time; and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.

During the course of the year a number of ideas just come up automatically. I could be walking down the street. Or shaving. An idea will hit me and I'll write it down. Then, when I'm ready to write, I check my little matchbooks and napkins and find that it is good or it's pretty terrible. There are other times when I don't have any ideas and I'll go into a room and close the door and I sit and sweat it out for a day or a month and eventually I come up with [something].

I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.