Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.

When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.

Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.