I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.

The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.

If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.