In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
Woody AllenThis guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brotherโs crazy. He thinks heโs a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why donโt you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess thatโs pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know theyโre totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.
Woody AllenBasically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody AllenIn short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
Woody Allen