After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.